IF YOU MUST HAVE A LEASH, AT LEAST HAVE IT BE YOUR OWN…

IF YOU MUST HAVE A LEASH, AT LEAST HAVE IT BE YOUR OWN…
By Tuhon Jack Latorre.

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So yesterday I taught another Pekiti-Tirsia class and had a visiting guest take class.
To make a long story short, the guest didn't want their pic posted on FB for fear of being seen by their regular instructor…and then consequently being excommunicated for training with another instructor (me).
I am told that this is a common practice in the school they belong to.
I happen to know this is unfortunately a common practice among various martial art schools, not just FMA instructors.
To be clear, I have never told another student (adult or otherwise) to not study elsewhere with other instructors of other arts. As a matter of fact, I encourage my students to take advantage of opportunities to train with other teachers of other martial systems. It'll give them a better idea of what's out there…and what they have (and don't have). You don't know what you don't know.
I do not want to retain students because I restricted them and made myself their only choice.
I want to retain students because they enjoy the instruction. If they enjoy the instruction of another person more, then there are no strings attached with me. They can and should go elsewhere.
But they never are pressured by me to stay with me…ever.
I don't really blame the visiting student much. They don't want to burn a bridge with someone they built a relationship with. They just need to remember that they themselves are sovereign individuals…and should make their own choices as they see fit. Threats of excommunication really isn't the adult way to go about doing things. That's a red flag in my opinion.
I sort of understand the instructor, as they want to retain students. It might be how they put food on the table for their families. I get it. I get ego is a powerful force to contend with.
However…
Telling students not to train with another instructor or they'll be kicked out is insecurity at the very least. At its worst, it's a cult-like atmosphere in which control is the objective…and not the well being of the student.
Adult students can figure out for themselves which instructors have their best interests in mind.
Naturally, I have my own opinions about which instructors are quality teachers (and which aren't)...but I let individuals figure out what's best for them. If a student wants my opinion, I'll give them my opinion. I just tell them that they should go and find out for themselves…that they can form their own perspectives of what they experience. It'll be more meaningful that way.
Some of you may note that I willingly share the events of other instructors and organizations. That's not by accident.
You don't improve the constitution of FMA by being isolated self-righteous zealots.
Rather, the health of FMA will largely be based on educating your constituents and allowing them to experience the breadth and depth on what FMA has to offer…and training them earnestly.
If what you have is worthy to them, they will come back.
If they don't, it might be for various reasons…but it should give you some feedback as to what you might need to adjust in your practices and in your mindset.
I hope this finds all of you well…and that you find the right training for you while never being limited by the insecurities of another individual.

Best,
Jack A. Latorre
Tuhon
Executive Director
Pekiti-Tirsia International
www.ptiacademy.com